WIT & WISDOM: FUNNY QUOTES FROM PHILOSOPHERS

Some famous funny quotes from philosophers over the years.

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"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."

- Socrates

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"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

- Albert Einstein

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"The only thing I know is that I know nothing."

- Socrates

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"I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure it is not in order to enjoy ourselves."

- Ludwig Wittgenstein

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"Love is a serious mental disease."

- Plato

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"Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."

- Plato

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"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"

- Friedrich Nietzsche

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"That man is wisest who, like Socrates, realizes that his wisdom is worthless."

- Plato

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"People can't drive you crazy if you don't give them the keys."

- Mike Bechtle

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"One cannot conceive anything so strange and so implausible that it has not already been said by one philosopher or another."

- René Descartes

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"There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing."

- Aristotle

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"Time is a game played beautifully by children."

- Heraclitus

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"The hurrier I go, the behinder I get."

- Lewis Carroll

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"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

- Woody Allen

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"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."

- Oscar Wilde

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"I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."

- Unknown

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"Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another."

- H.L. Mencken

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"Don't forget to love yourself."

- Soren Kierkegaard